How do I feel after been 5 days aka a week staying in a staff room, being a secondary school teacher, rushing for the Sejarah PT3?
That feeling is COMPLICATED.
I don't enjoy much staying in staff room. The atmosphere was tense. I think I have some communication problem here that I don't know how to talk to the TEACHERS around me. There are teachers who are super nice. However Most of the time I am day dreaming at my place. Sometimes I read book "THE TIME KEEPER" by Mitch Albom, sometimes I simply scroll my phone to look through some newsfeed. But I feel guilty doing this two acts, it's like I am not respecting this place. In my mind staff room is a place for serious worker but not for someone like me who constant confusing about her duty and do some nonsense thing.
But the feeling changed when I was in class. That was for Week 1. I am happy kid when I am in class. Though I constantly shouting like a mad lady, in my heart my happiness overwhelmed. I enjoy the time banter with my students. I like the way we communicate and I surprise at the way how the teenagers nowadays think. They seems to be much open minded I supposed. Not like my time where I was being confined in certain frame (limit) which I mean. They tend to be more creative and outspoken.
However in my deep thought, I want to be a responsible teacher. As what I had said earlier I hope I can bring them something which they can't get it from other teachers. Hopefully they will still remember me after the 8 weeks and even after they grew as adult. That's more like the life values that I want to indulge them.
But first of all, maybe I should concentrate in my current syllabus first. I am teaching Form 3 Sejarah, Form 4 English and Form 4 Sivik.
Sivik wouldn't pose a big problem to me. I am going to teach as well but I will be more like talking and some copying.
The same goes to English lanaguge for Form 4. HOPEFULLY wouldn't bring me great problem as I am an ENGLISH FOR PROFESSIONALS no matter how. Maybe I just need to go through the lecture notes all over again. Okay I admit now I am in great remorse. WHY I NEVER CONCENTRATE IN CLASS AND NEVER COMPREHEND THE KNOWLEDGE!
Here comes the biggest problem of all. The Form 3 SEJARAH. That's not a prob for me to REGURGITATE the text book and teach it in an interesting way. In fact that's one of my thing. But but. What the heck is PT3?! Students are required to write a RENCANA. It's something like the assignment that we used to write in varsity but this is easier because they got help a lot. But they have NO EXPERIENCE in it!! They don't even write karangan frequently and now the government actually expect the students to come out with a full report ka?! And they even being asked to search for all the references from different sources like newspaper, encyclopaedia, internet, books, journal and a lot more.
AND THIS IS THE FIRST BATCH OF RENCANA WRITING.
So basically some teachers went for training and some not, like me. I am totally blur about this stuff and I have 4 Form 3 classes with me.
Oh my Gawd! Can't you hear my heart cracking?
Bing Ling Bang Lang!
I have never undergo any training to teach and control a class. But now when I need to get use to the students so that I can figure out the best way to communicate with them and in the same time I need to convey those important information to them. Which apparently most of them didn't listen It well so they keep on asking me the same thing after I explained to the whole class.
IT'S A MISERABLE STORY.
But still
SO FAR SO GOOD.
I am still full with positive thinking with my internship.
Cause everything will be fine.
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